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Bubblebrain's Bubblely Thoughts
Life sucks.

I never have anything to do.
All I do is sit around at home all day.

I can't get a job....so far.
I keep getting turned down.

I have no real friends anymore....none.
The only ones I do have are to far away or super busy all the time.

I hate this.
Fuck you!
Fuck everyone.

Basically the only person I have to talk to is my mom.
So, she knows way more than she would normally.
I pretty much tell her everything.

I feel like I'm struggling to stay afloat in a sea of depression.
I can see myself slipping back into it.
It's pretty hard to stay happy when there's nothing to be happy about.

I don't even want to deal with Christmas this year.
I wish we could just skip over it.
There's no point, the only time christmas is enjoyable is when you're a kid.
Those days are long gone.

I never thought I would want to/ be ready to leave Madison.
Now, I know I am and I plan on doing it.
I'm stuck here for almost 2 years though, but the second I can, I'm gone.
I really want to move to Europe (London or Paris).
Mostly I can't imagine moving anywhere in the US, plus I've been in love with Europe since I was 10.

Current Mood: pissed off pissed off

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 How can I hate myself sooo much?

I don't think I do.

But the shit I have done to myself lately makes me think otherwise.
I really kinda do at this point....
And at the same time I don't.

It really doesn't have anything to do with anyone either.
I REALLY don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I'm going to see my best friend tomorrow.
I really think he'll help me feel better.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: Just Like The Movies- Regina Spektor

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I  don't know what to do.

I don't feel like I fit in anymore.

I've been on the verge of crying the whole day and I don't know why.

I'm sorry I got super drunk and stupid.
I feel soooo bad about it, I don't really even know what set me off.
I always drink a ton at Kazuag's.
After not really hanging out with them for 3 weeks, I don't know how to act anymore...so I end up drinking.

It's so stupid.

I haven't done anything for the past 2 days.
Not totally by choice either.

I can't afford to do anything.  My mom can't afford to do anything.

I need to get this job.  
I'm going to call them back today.

Current Mood: depressed depressed
Current Music: Sleeping Beauty-APC

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I can't believe it. 

It never hurt this much before.

Why? Why?

I want to hate you sooooo bad, but I can't.  

I love you.

I can't believe myself.

I can't believe I did it again....

I hurt so much.


Current Mood: infuriated infuriated

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I love my friends...no matter what!

They are amazing!

Current Mood: drunk drunk

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Party was insane!
I can't believe it.
Yet again I fucked up....
I'd love to pretend it never happened.

Current Mood: groggy groggy

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